Full Colour Friday: Why is “sorry” the hardest word?

Mar 15, 2024 | D&I

The Conservative Party is embroiled in scandal after scandal about racism, and has been for several months now. Most recently:

  • Tory donor Frank Heston was accused of racism and misogyny including allegedly saying Black MP Diane Abbot should be shot. (And at time of writing the Conservative Party was refusing to return £millions that Heston gave in donations.)

  • Former Conservative Deputy Chairman Lee Anderson’s claims that London Mayor Sadiq Khan is controlled by Islamic extremists.

  • Science Secretary Michelle Donelan forced to pay damages to Kate Sang after falsely accusing her of supporting terrorism.

  • Conservative MP Paul Scully claiming areas of London and Birmingham with a high proportion of Muslim residents are “no-go” areas.

 

The Labour Party has not been short of scandal too, the most recent case being that of Labour’s Rochdale by-election candidate Azhar Ali recorded making antisemitic remarks.

 

Whatever your political leanings, several things are clear. As well as the obvious and overt racism in each of these cases:

  • The volume of cases suggests there is a pattern of the behaviour and views that only appear to be challenged when they are made public

  • When cases first come to light there is an initial denial from the party or the perpetrator, either that the incident took place at all or that that whatever was said or done was racist

  • “Apologies” by the political party of which the perpetrator is a member are usually qualified

  • A focus of any party response is to deflect by attacking other parties for their racism

  • The incidents are rarely followed by deeds that would effectively address racism within the party

  • There is a lack of understanding and/or meaningful acknowledgement of what racism is and of the impact it has

  • Perpetrators and/or the political party they belong to use the “everyone has a right to an opinion” excuse, regardless of facts or the damage that those opinions cause when voiced by someone in power

  • People in power who are ethnically minoritized often respond from a belief that their brown or black skin makes them immune from being racist themselves

 

Let’s get one thing straight. There is a difference between racism and prejudice. Racism is about the power of one racial group or person over another racial group or person. This power can be tangible (e.g. the authority to make decisions that affect others’ lives) or intangible (e.g. the power to influence the opinions of others or the mood of a discussion.)

 

And as someone of Indian heritage, let me knock on its head the “I’m black so I can’t be racist” excuse.  I caused many moments of embarrassment for my parents when, as a teenager, I challenged racist views against black people being voiced openly by their friends at social gatherings.

 

So back to the original question: Why is sorry the hardest word?

 

By “sorry” I mean more than the word being said. I mean demonstrating a commitment and taking action to make sure the incident never happens again and also that there are consequences for those who knowingly do and say things that cause harm.

 

On racism I think the lack of genuine apology links to various factors:

  • The lack of self-awareness of the perpetrator and the party they belong to of the harm they are causing, dismissing people who point out this harm as being weak

  • The culture wars, of which these incidents are part, are useful politically

  • A belief by the perpetrator that they are a good person, therefore nothing they say or do can be that bad

  • A belief by perpetrators and their parties that being able to show they are in the right is more important than truth

  • A belief that those people perpetrators denigrate do not have the power to fight back

  • Ego

  • Not wanting to be perceived as weak by admitting guilt

  • Retaining or gaining political power or profile matters more than values or truth

  • Cynicism leading to the belief among perpetrators and their parties that if they hold their nerve, media attention will blow over and the public will forget

  • A belief that voters don’t care, or worse still, that some voters that agree with them.

 

I realise this is not my usual style of Full Colour Friday, where I offer practical advice on EDI. It’s not even an attempt at polemic. It is more a cry of despair…I hope you will forgive the self-indulgence.

 

And here is the thing. The way our politicians behave sets the tone for our wonderful country. That tone filters down, affecting the attitudes and behaviours of those around us, whether it is people we pass in the street or colleagues we sit next to in the office.

 

For those of us working to make the world more equitable, inclusive and diverse, this political tone massively complicates our task.

 

It’s exhausting. And sometimes I just feel like I need a warm bear hug. If you are feeling that way too, know that I am here for you, and I’m sending you the deepest of virtual hugs possible.

 

Can we help?

 

Want help with any aspect of your EDI journey? Reach out and to set up an informal, no obligation chat. Also, we will soon be opening our waiting list for the Full Colour EDI Programme for HR Leaders: we will hold your hand as you build everything you need – skills, confidence, concrete plans and practical actions – to drive change on EDI in your organisation.

 

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