It’s that time of year – desks decked in tinsel, mince pies in the office and a miasma of exhaustion permeating the air as everyone tries to meet pre-Christmas deadlines.
And then there is the Christmas party. All that jollity – sometimes forced depending on who you end up next to – and the endless unspoken question:
How do you be jovial with the boss you may not rate or like?
If you are that boss, how do you judge whether people are tolerating or welcoming you into the festive fun? Let’s face it, they are unlikely to tell you to your face…
In the work I do there can be a disjunct between leaders’ image of themselves and how they come across to others. As leaders – the people with the most power in any room – colleagues rarely tell us what they truly think of us. Even the challenge they offer us is tempered by their (sometimes unconscious) calculation of how much we are prepared to take.
This can make social interaction tricky, particularly if leaders’ behaviours are positive one minute and tetchy or destructive the next.
A new study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology from researchers at Stevens Institute of Technology, shows that employees’ morale and job performance decline sharply when leaders switch between good and bad behaviour.
Lead author Dr. Haoying Xu said: ” reverting to an ethical leadership style doesn’t magically erase the impact of prior bad behaviour – and in some circumstances, it can actually make things worse.”
The research goes on to show that even if you are a great leader, if the boss above you exhibits what researchers describe as “Jekyll and Hyde leadership”, this can affect your team.
“In today’s workplaces, employees are very attuned to their supervisors’ relationships with more senior leaders,” Dr. Xu says. “If that relationship becomes unpredictable or is marked by repeated bouts of good and bad behaviour, it can cause real problems for the whole team.”
I know what you are thinking. This is not me. But are you sure?
While I hope you are not exhibiting extreme “bad behaviour”, have you ever got irritated at work? Are you distant with people when distracted and friendly when not? Do you let your frustration show, even when it is not directed at the people in front of you?
People remember those moments far more than they recall the good stuff. In fact, great leadership often goes unnoticed, whereas those few times when you slipped, get talked about repeatedly, reinforcing them in people’s minds.
“Ah”, you say, “our staff engagement data tells us we are doing pretty well. There are things we can work on, but broadly we are fine.”
Let me introduce you to another piece of research, which shows that minoritized people do not always say what they think in staff surveys, even if they are anonymous.
Earlier this year (2024) The NHS Confederation’s LGBTQ+ Leaders’ Network surveyed its members and found that Network members disclosed higher rates of direct or indirect homophobia and transphobia, compared to the NHS Staff Survey results.
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25 per cent had experienced homophobia (compared to 13 per cent reported in the NHS Staff Survey)
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20 per cent experienced transphobia (compared to 18 per cent reported in the NHS Staff Survey).
One of the reasons I am not a fan the whole authentic leadership/be yourself at work movement is because as leaders, the impact of our emotional responses on those around us are magnified because of the power we hold and remembered long after we have forgotten them.
It is why it is so important for leaders to do what they can to develop self-awareness of how they come across or impact others so they can adjust their behaviours accordingly.
It is also why leaders need to practice genuine self-care, so they have the equanimity, emotional bandwidth and resilience to approach every working day with calm and consciously positive behaviours.
Can we help?
Full Colour specialises in helping leaders get the best from people and from themselves so they can deliver high quality results and create a workplace culture people love. We do this by helping leaders build equitable, diverse and inclusive organisations.
Do you want help with any aspect of your leadership and inclusion journey? Reach out to Izzy Taylor on [email protected] to arrange an informal, no obligation chat with Srabani Sen.