Many leaders I speak with put effort into practicing “authentic” leadership. Received wisdom tells us this is the secret sauce of successful leadership. But is it?
A naturally grumpy person being authentic is hardly likely to generate trust and loyalty in those they lead.
A more effective leadership trait, in my view, is congruence between the values you espouse and how you show up in everyday interactions with those around you.
Few leaders will think they behave in ways that are incongruent with their values. However, not all leaders are self-aware.
Tangible data such as engagement surveys and/or intangible data like ongoing silos or rivalries between departments often highlight gaps between the leaders people think they are and how their leadership is impacting people in reality.
How do you create congruence between your espoused and lived values? Below is a four-step process to get you started.
Step 1: Define your values AND those others need from you
When thinking about personal values, we usually look inwards. That’s fine. Please include these. However, we rarely ask our colleagues and line reports what values THEY need us to embody.
The job of a leader is to create an environment where those around them can give of their best. If you don’t know what those you lead need, how can you do this?
Identify four or five key colleagues (making sure you ask at least one who you know will challenge and make you feel uncomfortable.) Ask them for no more than two or three values they need from you most.
Then ask: “how would you know if I was embodying each value?” Ask them to be specific:
- What would your body language look like?
- How would you speak – tone and language?
- What actions would they see you take on a regular basis?
- What would be your most common behaviours?
You are likely to get different ideas from different people however there will be themes.
Step 2: Map what your chosen values look like in practice
From your combined list of values you and your colleagues came up with. Pick one that matters most to you and your colleagues, or one you’d like to start working on.
On a piece of paper draw five columns and write the value on the top as your heading.
On the left-hand column list regular situations you are in, e.g. meetings with leadership peers, meetings with your line report team, people you regularly email, situations where you are in an ambassadorial role etc. Each situation should have its own row.
Use the following headings on the remaining four columns:
- Body language
- Speech
- Actions
- Behaviours
For each situation you’ve identified, list under the “body language”, “speech”, “actions” and “behaviours” columns what you will actively do.
Don’t overwhelm yourself! There will be things that relate to more than one situation – indeed this mapping exercise will help you identify the consistent things that need to permeate your leadership. There may be the odd column you leave blank for one or two situations.
Include things that others suggested in step one that you hadn’t thought of – but remember you choose. We can’t please everyone all the time so pick things you can stick to doing consistently.
Step 3: Embed until it becomes second nature
You can either choose to embed everything you identified above or choose one situation you are regularly in and work on that first.
How can you remind yourself of what you are committing to, e.g.
- Take a photo of the paper and make it your screen saver
- Stick the paper up next to your laptop
- Record yourself describing the body language, speech, actions and behaviours and listen to them when you brush your teeth, go for a walk etc
- Have them somewhere you regularly look, e.g. your e-calendar
Step 4: Find an honest friend (or two)
Most of us have at least one, if not a small group of colleagues whom we trust and who regularly see us in action.
Share your sheet with them. Proactively ask them to observe you over a set period in one or two of your regular situations. Schedule a few minutes at the end of a meeting or at the end of the week to get their feedback.
Make feedback sharing short, sharp and regular. Don’t wait until the end of a month or you risk generalised feedback you can’t do anything with, because people have forgotten specifics.
Getting feedback in real time, e.g. immediately after a meeting, means people can share specific examples which you can learn from. With written communications, you might on occasion ask people to read an important email before you send it. Only important ones!! This must be manageable.
Finally
Adapt the structure above to make it easier if you need to. That way you are likely to actually do it!
Good luck. Do let me know if you use this technique and how it goes 😊.
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If you are looking for a speaker, reach out to me at srabani.sen@fullclr.com and let’s chat.